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Moving with Grace into 35 (Life Assessment Tools)

Updated: Oct 6, 2023

Birthdays are a lot like New Years for me. I get to reflect on the past year and ask myself, "by the time I'm 36 what do I want to accomplish? How do I want to grow? What do I want to get rid of that is not serving me anymore?". These past few years have been a lot for most people. In addition to the already maddening world of pandemics and politics, I have noticed a shift in my life. In my body, my soul, and my family (immediate and extended).

I have witnessed the decline of many loved ones' health. Watched their emotional struggles with their own aging process and mortality. I have felt my own body for the first time age. Coming to the reality that I cannot sustain my current way of life and the current way I treat my body. My values are shifting. My sense of self is shifting. My relationships are shifting. I'm witnessing the poisons of this distracting world, the consequences of ignoring my boundaries, and the effects that lack of discipline can create.

The Assessment Begins

Theme: Planning for the Future.

Prevention: As I see my parents work their way through their own life transitions, I am blessed to be able to really see my potential future and what I can do now to prevent or encourage who I want to become. Genetic testing like 23andme or ancestry (email me for a discount off your first kit) can provide similar outlooks. I believe this knowledge of your potential future is meant to empower you, not scare you.

So I find myself lifting weights specifically to strengthen posture so as not to develop Osteoperosis.

I find myself trying Cryotherapy, Craniosacral Therapy, and Therapy as more efficient ways to keep my mental health going strong.

I find myself starting Botox for the first time so that my eyebrows don't fall down so much that I can't see well when I'm older.

I find myself thinking about my financial future (thanks to the book by Tony Robbins: Master The Game)

Prevention also shows itself in my relationships and spirituality. I ask myself, "if I continue down this path, in 5 years, 10 years, will I be where I want to be in life?". And when the answer is NO, I honor that and start to shift things NOW to prevent that outcome.

Setting yourself up: I keep thinking of the powerful book, Atomic Habits, when I think of prevention. One nugget of gold that is shared is the idea of setting up your environment to encourage the outcome you want. Instead of saying, "I will read 5 books this month!" why not start putting a book on your nightstand at night? How can you set up your life and remove obstacles to help you reach your goals?

My husband and I have always done something similar with our Rie Parenting style. We immediately change the environment we are in to prevent our children from being in a position where their choices will likely end in frustration for all.

Instead of waiting for motivation, I want to focus on momentum. I'm good at listening to myself when my body and relationships are off and actively improving them. But I do tend to wait for things to be a certain level of "bad" to feel motivated to take action. But this is a reactive state, not a preventative state. I want to create the daily habits that will produce the life I want.

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Self-Growth! Keywords for the Year.

Vulnerability: I made a recent discovery in Therapy this year that I am not as willing to put myself in vulnerable positions as I thought. Through my own Craniosacral therapy sessions, books, and daily awareness/practice, I hope to improve this.

Acceptance: I have also learned this year just how much my body tries to avoid conflict. I made a pack with myself. If I feel the need to defend myself and prove why my opinion matters or is right, I will hold my tongue. Because the reality is, that we all see the world through our own lens. Someone's opinion of you is neither "right nor wrong". They are allowed to think of you however they want through their worldly lens and it's none of your business.

Feeling of Abundance: In a country that makes you feel like you never have enough, I would like to explore and challenge this idea this coming year.

Life Assessment

This life assessment is my favorite quick tools I use monthly to keep my life on track and soul-filled. As a monthly (or anytime I feel off track) review, I rank these topics 1-10. Anything below a 5 is my priority for the coming month. But for this yearly assessment, I am going to set goals for these categories.

Health: To create a body that is strong. To prevent my genetics (eye drooping, bones breaking, diabetes, high blood pressure, lung disease, skin cancer, colon cancer, depression (OMG so much)).

Spirit: To discover and create my own spiritual practice and routines.

Finance: To be independent of my husband. To support me and my children alone if needed and to secure my future retirement.

Learning: To accomplish my next round of Craniosacral training, finish my CNA responsibilities and explore sexual enlightenment :)

Mental/Emotional: To dial in the right lifestyle that down-regulates my nervous system, consistently.

Mission: To establish a thriving Craniosacral therapy business with word of mouth being my main form of traction. To establish my mommy blog and youtube self-care platform. To create my first online passive income project that is mine alone. To re-establish an online presence in the Swing dance world. (This might need even more simplifying!)

Experiences: To create a more robust hobby lifestyle with embroidery, pottery and singing. Essentially to give myself permission to rest and to have enough discipline with my time to allow it.

Love: This is a large topic and has been shifting a lot for me. At this moment, I am focused on self-love. Meeting my husband at 21 I think caused a trajectory in life that didn't allow me to finish "growing up". I want to re-start that journey. I would also like to start using meditation and manifesting to believe in my future success. It's easy to get trapped in the dreaming and planning stages but a lot scarier to go all the way and reach the goal.

Family: To truly find a consistent sense of grounding and peace amidst my children's chaos. And to relearn the REI way.

Friends: To grow my friend circle in Boise and nurture my relationships with the women in my life.

Now, I know this was A LOT.

But the beautiful thing about this (and New Year's resolutions) is that if I am thoughtful, detailed, and focused when thinking about all of this; and take the time to verbally speak it out loud (or on paper), that is often all I have to do. This will set the trajectory. I often find when looking at my last year's goals, most of them come true without me having to do more work. And the topics I didn't accomplish turns out I didn't care for as much as I thought.

So try it out. Do the life assessment. Rank the categories 1-10 and set goals for how you want your life to be next year. And do you have a one-word theme you can apply to your life right now for focus? Share below. I would love to hear!

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